I'm taking a test and it's HARD!

I'm constantly taking tests. They are of the spiritual kind, given by God. I hope that I pass the one I've been taking this week! I'm trying my best. Sometimes I get tired of the tests and wonder WHY the Lord keeps giving them to me! Sometimes I don't realize that I'm taking a test until I'm in the middle of it. I then buckle down and try to pass it. I just want to kick, scream, and then cry because they're never easy. I haven't given up and neither has God, but why can't life be easy? There are benefits in our testing and I'm beginning to see them more clearly than ever before. James 1:3 says that the testing or the proving of our faith is for our good. It is for our development so that we can be transformed into the image of Jesus and become more like Him. (Romans 8:29) Testing proves the genuineness of our faith, which is more precious than gold, and will bring us honor when the Lord returns. In 1 Peter 1:8 we see that the testing of our faith will prove we truly love and believe in Him. Have you ever had someone give you the impression that they care about you only because you give them things or do things for them? It's a deeply hurtful revelation. I'm sure it hurts our heavenly Father when we only show Him love because of the good things He gives and does for us. When the going gets tough or things aren't happening the way I want them to, I'm tempted to get mad at God. He doesn't always do things for me the way that I think He should. (Sounds alot like a whining two year old). Before I know it I'm frustrated and complaining. God is merciful, opens my eyes, and proceeds to humble me. For instance, I went into a thrift store in Ocala the other day looking for something and what I saw broke my heart. It wasn't a fun type of junk store. It was a huge warehouse that had tubs of clothes and that was basically it. As I walked in, I saw a sea of the most pitiful people I've ever seen in my life digging in the bins. Many appeared to be impoverished immigrants. It was if I were at the animal shelter and I was getting looks like the animals give you. The looks were sad, empty, longing. Many looked sick, crippled, and malnourished. It truly broke my heart! I had to run to the car and cry. I cried and cried for my sin. I repented for being so ungrateful, realizing how very blessed I am. I also get a deeper revelation of His goodness toward me when I go to the prison and see the hundreds of captive women. Many are there for life, never to be free again. I then recall this phrase that rings true to me, "but for the grace of God, there go I". The Lord has been so good to me! He delivered me from a life of real pain and has given me so much since I gave my life to Him in 1978! I pray that the Lord will be merciful toward me (as I know He will), and will continue to work with me. I pray I will always allow Him to work in my life and change me for His glory. I do want to make Him happy and I want to be me more like His Son Jesus. I pray that we will all be faithful to Him and bless Him. He is such a loving heavenly Father and I'm so glad to be His child. Yes, He disciplines, but oh how He loves us!